Trauma Bites

Hello friends.  So much has happened since I posted last.  John was rebaptized and life has been crazy ever since.  It’s been about 4 months since his baptism.  I had this false feeling that everything would be a-okay and we would move on and “live happily ever after”.  That has not been the case.  IfRead more

Repentance

John met with the stake president Tuesday night.  After meeting with each of us individually a few weeks ago, he now feels that it is time to recommend John for baptism.  This Sunday, John and I will meet with the disciplinary council.  It will be very different from the last time we met.  Instead ofRead more

A lie is a lie

I have been feeling off-kilter since the new year.  Maybe a little before.  I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but something just seemed off. John’s been lying to me.  Or rather, just omitting things from me. Of course, it wasn’t anything big… just lying. {smirk} {Before I tell this, I will fullyRead more

FHE Conversation Twists

In the past, John and I would commit to having regular Family Home Evening.  We would have it once or twice, and then skip several months.  I am sure his addiction had nothing to do with this.  (Insert sarcasm.)  Now, we are really committed. Sunday is our night for the full-blown scripture, prayer, song, lesson,Read more

Excommunication . . . Merely a New Chapter

I have felt prompted to write about my husband’s excommunication from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for over a month now.  I have sat down several times, written a few sentences, deleted the post and walked away from the computer in frustration.  This is a taboo subject to many within the Church. Read more

. . . stay

If someone had told me a year ago that my husband was addicted to pornography and sex, I would have laughed in their face, and said, “Not my husband.  No way.  My husband is totally active, he’s served in several presidencies in the church and is currently the Elder’s Quorum President.  My husband and IRead more

Smiling on the Darkest of Days

John told me he was addicted to pornography late at night on January 7th, 2015.  The next morning I went through the motions of the morning routine.  John left for work.  Shortly after he left he texted and asked if I would be willing to see a therapist with him that morning.  I agreed.  John tried to go to work, butRead more

The Invisible Elephant

(Originally posted January 2015) The invisible elephant. It’s been with John and I since the beginning. Always there, bigger than life. I am surprised I never ran into it before. I could sense it, feel it, but could never touch it.  If I got close, it would slip to the side, always out of grasp, justRead more