Last night I got upset at John over something really stupid.  I really don’t know what set me off, but I was mad about him not helping me when I needed him to even though I hadn’t asked him for help and he’s not a mind reader (seriously, my life would be easier if he couldRead more

Trauma Bites

Hello friends.  So much has happened since I posted last.  John was rebaptized and life has been crazy ever since.  It’s been about 4 months since his baptism.  I had this false feeling that everything would be a-okay and we would move on and “live happily ever after”.  That has not been the case.  IfRead more

A lie is a lie

I have been feeling off-kilter since the new year.  Maybe a little before.  I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but something just seemed off. John’s been lying to me.  Or rather, just omitting things from me. Of course, it wasn’t anything big… just lying. {smirk} {Before I tell this, I will fullyRead more

Blessings Come in Mysterious Ways

John was “let go” from his job two weeks ago.  It wasn’t a surprise, in fact, John had already started to look for employment elsewhere.  His boss was the type of boss that you only hear about.  He was demeaning, rude, hypocritical, I could go on and on, but I won’t.  This story isn’t aboutRead more

Excommunication . . . Merely a New Chapter

I have felt prompted to write about my husband’s excommunication from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for over a month now.  I have sat down several times, written a few sentences, deleted the post and walked away from the computer in frustration.  This is a taboo subject to many within the Church. Read more

Smiling on the Darkest of Days

John told me he was addicted to pornography late at night on January 7th, 2015.  The next morning I went through the motions of the morning routine.  John left for work.  Shortly after he left he texted and asked if I would be willing to see a therapist with him that morning.  I agreed.  John tried to go to work, butRead more

The Invisible Elephant

(Originally posted January 2015) The invisible elephant. It’s been with John and I since the beginning. Always there, bigger than life. I am surprised I never ran into it before. I could sense it, feel it, but could never touch it.  If I got close, it would slip to the side, always out of grasp, justRead more

I KNOW I can do this…With God’s Help

I have been very nervous to commit to this blog.  I started it months ago, posted a few times, and then wanted to scrap the whole thing – I did scrap the original posts.  I kept feeling nudged to get it going again, only this time, to pray for guidance on what it is IRead more