I KNOW I can do this…With God’s Help

God's help blog I have been very nervous to commit to this blog.  I started it months ago, posted a few times, and then wanted to scrap the whole thing – I did scrap the original posts.  I kept feeling nudged to get it going again, only this time, to pray for guidance on what it is I should say here.  I am not a deep, profound person, but I am trying to recover from Betrayal Trauma and maybe what I have to say here will resonate with you on some level.

Since it is Addiction Recovery month, I decided to spend time each day working on my own recovery, and focus less on what my husband is doing in his recovery.  Every day this month (hopefully) I will write about something that I KNOW, I CHOOSE, or that I AM in regards to this journey I now find myself on.  I know that I can do this – share my story, my journey of faith, forgiveness, and healing – with God’s help.

Since my husband’s disclosure on January 7, 2015 I have felt as if I am Jane Doe.  You see me everywhere, yet you don’t really see me.  I’m the person who looks you right in the eyes and smiles as if everything is peachy keen.  I sit next to you at church and laugh while inside I’m a wreck.  I teach Relief Society and never let on to this secret.  My husband sits next to me and my family each week at church.  We look like a strong, active family – yet my husband is no longer a member and our temple marriage is void at this time.  I am your friend, your neighbor, your sister, your child’s friend’s parent.  I am right in front of you, yet I am invisible.

I am Jane Doe.

One thought on “I KNOW I can do this…With God’s Help

  1. Thank you so much for sharing the trauma and treason of your life experience so openly. I too had D-Day April 9, 2013–only eighteen days before my daughter’s temple wedding. Your share has been transparent and vulnerable. Your strength is admirable . I have related to every post and thank you from the bottom of my heart. May Gods tender mercies continue to lift and inspire you and all who find themselves in a relatable circumstance.

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